why spiders are better than mail

Oh, another thing I haven't done: go through my two weeks of accumulated mail. There could be anything in there. Probably isn't, but could be!

I hate this. I usually pride myself on being a fairly capable person, but the days the smallest thing will make me throw up my hands like "I'm all out of cope! Can't do it!" I suppose that could be related to how I like to call myself the worst person in the world (or earthier epithets like "shithead" and "dickface") at the slightest provocation. I'm not afraid of heights or spiders or public speaking, but I'm somehow paralyzingly petrified of the mere possibility of making a minor fuckup. Because the worst a spider can do is bite me, but a fuckup can conclusively demonstrate that my whole life is a lie and I'll never amount to anything. Because I'm a shithead and also the worst person in the world.

wow somehow I found a way to be even worse

So here's what I did today: I called in sick to get an extra day so I'd have SOMETHING to show my boss, and then I did--guess what?--absolutely nothing! This may be a new low.

This has been an impressive week for me, procrastination-wise. I think I may actually have gone the entire week without getting a single work thing done. I mean, that takes dedication. I've definitely put in my 10,000 hours on procrastinating. I guess I should make that my new career. You'd think I'd get bored of it.